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Consolations and Desolations

by Joe Goodkin

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1.
Sometimes the drugs don’t do the trick They get me by but make me sick I sit up worrying Waiting for the end Who will fill my empty rooms Who will make my garden bloom Who will hold my hand and come to my defense Love is a stupid word But it’s the one I say To chase the fear away Love is a stupid word But it’s the one you’ve got To tell me you will not Disappear Sometimes I dream that I’m alone And where you’ve gone no one knows I go door to door With menace in my eyes Then I catch what’s on the news There’s a car, a shirt, some shoes I wake up and see you face You hold me while I cry Love is a stupid word But it’s the one I say To chase the fear away Love is a stupid word But it’s the one you’ve got To tell me you will not Disappear It was only a dream… It was only a dream I tell myself It was only a dream I whisper But it doesn’t help It was only a dream It was only a dream I yell and yell and yell that Love is a stupid word But it’s the one I shout Until my voice goes out Love is a stupid word But it’s the one you’ve got To tell me you will not Disappear
2.
I sang Hosannah to stale beer and weeknight crowds The big skies of Montana gave way to raincoast clouds Through the lowlands, a weight upon my head Like a ghost’s plan, echoes of the dead All my life I’ve looked for love All my life I’ve cried for my desolations In the salt flats there was meaning in the flames In the black coyotes called to me by name In the dawn I saw a sun dog and its twin In their song they told me where I should begin They sang “All those times you looked for love All those times you cried were your consolations” On the road all the days had broken wings Back at home they were strong enough to sing I fell asleep to the music of my heart In its beat was all I needed from the start And all my life when I looked for love All those times I cried were my consolations And all my life when I looked for love All those times I cried were my consolations
3.
Stay 03:24
I take a breath You’re at the door It’s a shame what we’ve been through The back and forth With voices raised There’s too much shit between me and you But stay Stay Hold my light until it goes away Stay Stay Sing my blues until they fade to grays There was a time When we were young The world was ours, we couldn’t lose Those easy years Gave way and then We hit a wall and had to choose To stay Stay To hold our light until it goes away Stay Stay To sing our blues until they fade to grays Another day Breaks in our place On my right side you sleep quietly The room’s a mess Of fears and tears I close my eyes and listen to you breathe I’ll stay I’ll stay I’ll hold your light until it goes away Stay Stay I’ll sing your blues until they fade to grays
4.
Endless Fall 02:26
At the last of summer, moonlight in your eyes You can’t help but wonder what it is that lies In the thing that haunts us all Do not be afraid of endless fall Sometimes in the evening with darkness in the air You find yourself believing that someone else is there In the shadows on the wall Do not be afraid of endless fall When your seasons turn blue with a feeling you can’t name The autumn fires burn you and your love is cut with pain When that sorrow calls Do not be afraid of endless fall The leaves have left their branches for new homes on the ground All your fires are ashes, your clocks have gone unwound Time slows to a crawl Do not be afraid of endless fall
5.
Even in our darkness love remains Even when we forget its name The pain is real Holding a live wire in your hands It’s enough to kill a man It’s the price you pay to feel Something in your head Something in your soul Something to know you’re not alone Anyone can let forgiveness in Just open up your heart until it breaks Anyone can let forgiveness win Remember that we’re more than our mistakes Even in our light a shadow plays A reminder of our darkest days When we were lost at sea Clinging to the mast and listening To the horror that the Sirens sing But it makes you feel Something in your head Something in your soul Something to know you’re not alone Anyone can let forgiveness in Just open up your heart until it breaks Anyone can let forgiveness win Remember that we’re more than our mistakes Even in our loss there is some grace It finds us in a quiet place When it’s time to heal It’s something in your head Something in your soul It tells you that you’re not alone Anyone can let forgiveness in Just open up your heart until it breaks Anyone can let forgiveness win Remember that we’re more than our mistakes
6.
Someone Else 03:27
You were someone else before the smile I sent your way like the sun I could see you were a child With a sea of broken love in your lungs I was someone else before the look You gave me on the night I found Some sort of magic out of a book Some treasure buried in my ground Now When I need a fire you’re my spark Now It seems like we were fated from the start How Could someone else have ever held my heart You were someone else before the songs I played for you on the phone My dog would try to sing along He could see I was scared to be alone I was someone else before you cried For all the days you were caught Inside the prison of your pride Playing a person you were not Now When you need a fire I’m your spark Now It seems like we were fated from the start How Could someone else have ever held your heart
7.
Took a walk through the yearbooks of my mind What I sought I can’t say Maybe some comfort in who I used to be How he became who I am today We can’t know how our stories end The past is just things we tell What we did, who we did it with Where we were when the Towers fell No one ever gets away We change but something still remains Of the light and dark and love and shame From where we came Now regret comes screaming like a storm The sound and fury to the front I close my eyes and remember who I was Cut myself a break for being young Is that an outlaw’s way of running from the law Slipping out of town through the cracks There’s things that lurk in the yearbooks of my mind And follow me to where my dreams go black No one ever gets away We change but something still remains Of the light and dark and love and shame From where we came No one ever gets away We change but something still remains Of the light and dark and love and shame From where we came The shame from where we came
8.
Enter Hope 04:02
I feel a darkness rising To meet me where I used to stay There’s a storm on the horizon It will be here any day Words have lost their meaning Melody is without light Major chords all sound like leaving Even my angels can’t tell wrong from right Enter hope Enter love Come on up from below Down from above Enter grief Enter time Keep on working your lines until they rhyme After dreaming of a great flood I walked into a field of fire In my mouth there was the taste of blood My heart was hung up on a wire I watched you mourning from a distance The headstones rose like Lazarus The words upon them did a quick dance And disappeared into the dust Enter hope Enter love Come on up from below Down from above Enter grief Enter time Keep on working your lines until they rhyme Keep on working your lines until they rhyme Keep on working your lines until they rhyme

credits

released October 27, 2023

Joe Goodkin: vocals, guitars, piano, synth
Ken Coomer: drums, percussion, Marxophone, programming
Dave Jacques: electric and acoustic bass
Adam Ollendorff: pedal steel on Stay, Weissenborn on Endless Fall
Al Gamble: organ on Endless Fall
Maureen Murphy: background vox on Stay

Recorded at Cartoon Moon Studios, Nashville TN
Produced by Ken Coomer
Mixed by Gabe Masterson at Cartoon Moon Studios, Nashville TN
Mastered by Jonathan Pines at Private Studios, Urbana, IL

All songs music and lyrics by Joe Goodkin (c)2021 Bottle Boy Music (ASCAP)
Cover art by RJ Hooker

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Joe Goodkin Chicago, Illinois

Chicago-based singer/songwriter Joe Goodkin has released albums as both a solo artist and under the name Paper Arrows. He tours the country performing one-man folk opera retellings of Homer's Odyssey and Iliad.

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